The Redeem Team is Mean...

Critics say the title might not rhyme but it sure does have a ton of assonance.

And they say I'm not ready to go back to school!

Anyway, I know you missed me. I just got back from Martha's Vineyard, which essentially is a happy island off the coast of Massachusetts (true story: I purchased a Red Sox cap and a t-shirt that read "Jeter drinks wine coolers" and stopped in New York. I felt like Shrek facing an angry mob of pitch forks). I had the chance to get some rest before the start of the school year; spend some QT (not queen-ten) with the family; and, of course, watch plenty of Olympic action.

Outside of Michael Phelps domination during my week-long stay, my eyes remained fixated on the United States' men's basketball team, dubbed appropriately as the "Redeem Team". So far they seem to be on the road to redemption, drubbing teams by an average of 32.2. Today's game against Germany was no different, as they demolished Deutschland 106-57. Wasn't exactly the way Dirk Nowitzki wanted to end his international career, nor a subpar Olympics for his country after they failed to qualify for the medal round (it might be time to start a website called http://www.tradedirknowbeforeyoucantgetvalueforhimanymore.com).

Anyway, like I was saying, the U.S. got through the medal round untouched, very good for me since I have a friendly bet with a buddy of mine regarding the point spread. We were out one night prior to the start of preliminary play, and he told me how tough it was going to be for the United States because the rest of the world had caught up. Pride of America bubbling up inside of me, I came up with the following bet: if any team got to within ten points of the U.S.--not beat, got to within 10 points--I would go a year without cutting my hair, basically becoming a better looking version of Ricky Rubio (pictured above). If the U.S. beats every team by ten or more, my friend, fond of his floppy to normal caucasian hairstyle, would have to shave his head completely. I'll modify that and say that he only needs to do a one on top. I understand that as a working professional I have to allow him some lee-way.

So far I'm looking good on my end, and my girlfriend mainly has to thank the swarming United States' defense thus far. Coach K's effect on this team has been massively understated. Some would argue that it's easy to coach such a gifted group, but name me another coach nationally that could get offensive juggenauts LeBron James and Dwyane Wade to play so hard defensively. Seriously, James in particular has looked more like Bruce Bowen on the defensive end during this last week! I think that's the biggest difference between the U.S. from 2002-2006 to now: they're more focused defensively. And, to pour it on even more, they've started to look more comfortable from downtown since the Spain game.

I love this team because they have a swagger that wags a middle finger in the face of all basketball purists, the ones that said this team was just a bunch of individuals that would get smashed by the more conventional offenses of Spain, Argentina, and Greece. I never thought I'd see a better team than the Dream Team of 1992, but... well, okay, I won't go that far but whatever. All I know is that this team will win a gold medal if they keep up the defensive intensity.

I don't buy Chris Sheridan's view that Australia will be a tough game for them. Granted, they did play the U.S. close without Andrew Bogut during the exhibition march, and yeah, they do have the physicality to disrupt the Americans, but, like most teams in these olympics, they just don't have enough from the guard position to get it done. I've become a fan of Australian guard Patrick Mills, who during the year still plays for Saint Mary's, a mainstay in the West Coast Conference's upper echelon, but he's not the kind of point guard who will minimize turnovers offensively. I see a game decided somewhere between 15-20.

10:15 AM Eastern standard time on Wednesday, we'll see if I'll be in the process of making Rubio jealous.